A Mathematical Formula for "Cold"

Recently I have been a few different places and where the weather was described as "cold." These include

• + 14 C and overcast/drizzly in Mesa, AZ. The picture of Austin, below, is actually on a pretty warm day in Arizona. But it illustrates the point that if you are the one wearing shorts and open-toes shoes, weather in the low teens is cold. For example, on the Sunday before we came home, we went to church. Assuming the weather would be warm, I only brought sandals for Sunday, and no tights. After church, I was cold enough that I changed into sweats with socks.

• -25 C plus the windchill when we got home from our trip to Arizona. This is cold, by any definition, but the morning after we got home, I put on a sweater, a down coat, sorel boots (rated to -40) mitts, a hat and a scarf and went out and shovelled for about 45 minutes. Even though I had ice crystals on my eyelashes, my core was actually warm from the exertion.

• +7 C, cloudy with a north wind on the day of Sarah's wedding. I thought it was a beautiful day for February, but for those who had to stand outside in their wedding clothes for pictures, it was pretty chilly.

So, what is cold really? Should a Canadian scoff at Arizonans for being cold in weather that is 40 C warmer than it is in Canada at the same moment? I'm not so sure. I feel like there is a mathematical formula to explain cold...perhaps it goes something like this...

Actual Temperature minus Expected Temperature times the Length of Exposure minus (5 times A, where A is a number between 1 and 5 where you rate the adequacy of your clothing, 1 for very adequate and 5 for very inadequate)

So here goes: 14 C in Arizona in open toed sandals and a short skirt.

expected temp= 25 C

actual temp 14 C

exposure 30 min

adequacy of clothing 4

(14-25)*1/2 -5(4)= -21.5

Magrath at -25 C while shovelling snow

expected temperature = -5 C

actual temperature = -25 C

exposure 45 min

adequacy of clothing 1

(-25- -5) *3/4 - 5(1) = -20

Sarah getting her wedding pictures taken

expected temperature = 8 C

actual temperature 7 C

exposure 2 hrs

adequacy of clothing 5

(7-8)*2 -5(5)=-27

So, Sarah gets the prize for being the most cold! But we all, in our own way, have the right to claim to be cold, when that's how we feel!